Gnomes of Suburbia Read online

  "Can I ask you some mermaid questions?"

  "Sure. Can I ask you some Nexus questions?” Laura's eyes were twinkling now. Skint delivered some glasses and Mitsy followed with the lemonade. Inside, it appeared that Harby was working on the counter, putting something on a platter.

  "I don't know if I can answer them, but sure, give them a shot.” She took a sip of icy lemonade and grinned. “I get to go first."

  "Fine."

  "Can you have sex while you have the tail?” She leaned to the side to avoid the spray of sweet and sticky fluid that emanated from Laura.

  "That was direct."

  "Thank you. What is the answer?"

  "Uh, it is easier with another merperson, but it is possible with someone with legs. We just have to make some adjustments. Of a scaled trap door variety."

  "Neat. And kinda cool, but also weird."

  "My turn. Where does the power come from? Does it come from you, do you have to summon it?” Laura was slurring slightly. A light touch of the aspirated lemonade left on the table and a sniff was all Abby needed to know. Laura was hammered. The gnomes had doctored her glass. Protective little buggers.

  "From what Xander has told me, and the few books he has let me read, I am a gateway between a dimension of magic and this world."

  "But what lets the magic through?” She sloshed some lemonade on the table as she asked the question. She was going under fast.

  "Hormones. That one even Xander doesn't know, but he might suspect.” She watched as the mermaid slowly sank to the table to have a little nap. “Okey dokey. There goes all polite conversation. Perhaps I will just have a little snag of meditation then.” She was talking to herself and the gnomes. Moving slowly, so as not to wake Laura, she wandered over to the side of the pool and sank to her knees.

  The jets of the pool had a soothing rhythm. As she closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sound, she pulled magic in and let it flow again.

  As Laura snored on, her sounds became part of Abby's magic, she synched her breathing to the drunk mermaid and her body relaxed enough to let her mind wander. So out of her body she went.

  The oak tree greeted her spirit as it passed, the rock was indeed sitting on its root ball and her week of dumping magic into the stone had given the tree enough life to move and communicate with her on a basic level. She missed their chats and it had only been a day.

  The town was as neat and tidy as always. Seesee was doing a brisk business, or at least her shop was. If she had stuck to the plan, she was at home to confuse the stalker.

  The people of Oak Point Way probably knew where she was, but they wouldn't say anything. Unless they were the one who was out to kill her.

  That one thought explained why the gnomes had dosed Laura. They didn't know if she was the stalker so they were taking no chances. Seesee was the only safe person because she had been at work when the car had tried to take Abby out. Or so she thought. In theory, Seesee could have gotten into her car, charged at Abby and then returned to her shop with no one the wiser. That thought unsettled her to the point where she shook herself back into her body.

  Her hands were numb, her legs asleep and she wasn't even sure if her feet were still attached. With a groan, she rolled herself onto her hip and used force to straighten her limbs.

  An answering groan sounded from the deck and Abby looked over to see Laura moving sluggishly at the table, sitting up and clutching her head. “Hey, scooter, you might want to take it easy. You got hammered."

  Laura winced at the noise of Abby's voice, but moved slowly regardless. “You drugged me?"

  "No. I didn't. The gnomes did. I am guessing that they were giving me some quiet time. And plenty of it.” The sun was already beginning to set. The day had been lost in a haze of magic and reflection. Abby crinkled her nose. She was sunburned. And hungry. Really hungry.

  On cue, her tiny keepers marched out with a fully prepared dinner. Their timing was almost ... magical. Oh, heck. The tingling was starting.

  Laura was there the instant that Abby groaned.

  "Abby, what is it? Why aren't you moving?” The mermaid was hovering.

  "I meditated in the wrong position and the wrong jeans. My legs and feet are asleep.” She breathed shallowly, desperate to not move her body. “Give me a minute. Or six."

  "Forgive me for this, Abby.” Laura picked her up and dropped her in the pool.

  The shrieking and cursing was conveyed mostly in bubbles underwater, frightening the few fish that still occupied the pool. They swam in to get a look at her and she flailed her arms and pounded her fists on the floor of the pool. But hey, her legs felt better.

  Sighing, she stood, happy to have been thrown in to the shallow end. Her legs held her weight as she stood and glared at Laura. The mermaid was looking smug.

  "You drug me and I dump you in a pool. We are even.” She held out her hand and Abby took it. “Do your legs feel better?"

  "Yeah, they do. Thanks.” Water sluiced from her as she made it back to the edge of the pool and onto the wood of the nearby deck. “Your penalty is to have me soak all your furniture."

  "I will accept it. But I have no idea what we were discussing."

  The gnomes had cleaned up the table and set it for two. As Mitsy and Ruffles put plates and utensils down, Abby got another suspicion.

  "We were talking about Nexus's and mermaids. And love lives. What is it with you and Verne?” Yep, the little buggers were plating her food and Laura's from separate pots. “And hey, would you humour this crazy Nexus and share food off my plate. I think it may be a good plan for dinner."

  "You think they are going to..."

  "Pretty sure. Do you want to chance it?"

  "Not really.” Laura flicked a napkin into her lap.

  Abby did the same. “Is Laura your real name? Most mermaids that I have read about have slightly more fantastical names."

  "Good call. I think only the boys and Miranda get to use their regular names in the modern world. Lorifinianalwen. That is the name my parents stuck me with."

  "Wow. I got away with Annabeth. My middle name is a bit of a bitch, but it fits in the little boxes on government applications."

  "What is it?"

  "Bodicea. After an old English queen who went insane after herself and her family was abused by the Romans and tried to expunge them from the island. Permanently."

  "What island?"

  "Britain. Or I guess Britannia back then."

  "That is one heckuva namesake. I was just named after an aunt who found a new source of food."

  "Really? What?"

  "Tacos. She was off the coast of Mexico and went up to a resort in the fifties. They were serving soft tacos and she took some back to the hub, turning herself into an instant hero. Because my mom was pregnant with me at the time, and scarfing every taco that Auntie could lay hands on, I was named after her."

  "My mom just read a book. I was almost Anne Boleyn Hanover. That would have been creepy.” She did some math in her head, “How old are you anyway?"

  "Close to sixty. My birthday is in the winter."

  "Did you volunteer to come here?"

  "More or less. My family is the delegate to the council. We tend to pop onto land as requested.” The shrug spoke volumes. Family honour came first.

  "So how did the houses get assigned?"

  "Well, all I know is that I was promised the one with the pool so here it is.” Her hands took in the entire yard and house.

  "Nice.” And it was. She was guessing that the internal décor was all Laura though. The pearl and iconography gave it away.

  Her own house suited her to a tee. She wondered idly as she waited at the table to partake of the gnomes’ offerings, who had done the research on her before she had gotten here? “Well, regardless of how it was set up, your home is truly lovely. It suits you.” She sat back as the gnomes trundled a service cart over and began to serve them from plated dishes. As a test, Abby reached out to pick up Laura's soup. “That look
s lovely, mine has too much broccoli in it. Do you mind if we switch?"

  Laura looked a bit confused, but understanding crossed her features at last. “Certainly. I do love my green veg. I normally eat raw plankton while at sea.” They exchanged plates and, as the gnomes had tiny coronaries, she smirked.

  "I don't want you dosing my hosts. I know that the best way for me to be safe is to be alone in a home with the host unconscious, but it is just rude. I have to trust these people and they will have to trust me eventually. This isn't helping."

  The small solemn faces nodded unhappily. They began to take the tainted dishes back to the kitchen.

  "I also think that you all owe Laura an apology. So do I for that matter. Laura Exner, I am sorry for the actions of my gnomes. They acted in my best interest but are overzealous and only a few weeks old. Could you forgive me? And them?” Abby bent her head and waited.

  "I accept your apology. Your creatures acted most honourably on your behalf. There is no need for forgiveness.” She smiled and reached out to take Abby's hand in her cool one.

  "Whew. Thanks for that. I just wanted to say it before they did something else to you, like throw you in the pool and put the cover on."

  "A wise decision.” She giggled. “There isn't a cover for my pool, by the way. So I am not worried."

  The second, undrugged, round of soup and salad arrived and they cautiously had Abby eat from both bowls and plates before continuing. Better safe than stupid was Abby's motto. That and, Always know where your pants are.

  The rest of the evening was uneventful. They finished dinner and helped the gnomes do the dishes. Well, they tried to, the gnomes were exceedingly territorial.

  They didn't share the same taste in movies so compromised by watching the food network. Hours flew by, popcorn was provided, eaten and removed and then it was time for bed.

  "Goodnight, Laura. See you in the morning."

  "Only if I get up before you head off to your next host."

  "Oh, right. Bummer.” She ran forward and hugged her host and let a little bit of energy seep from her hug, into Laura. “Just a little to say that your sacrifice of a day was appreciated. Not enough to make you all taily."

  Tears were in Laura's eyes as they separated. “Just enough to make me the sturdiest damned mermaid in existence. The last time, my scales were like armour and my skin felt like steel. This time, I will be coated in power.” A sudden thought occurred to her. “You are in control of it now, aren't you?"

  "Shh ... don't tell my stalker or they may try and wipe me out while I sleep."

  "Three of your gnomes are outside keeping watch. I think you will be safe tonight.” Laura turned and moved to her own room. “Goodnight, sleep tight. It has been fun having you here."

  "For me, too. Good night.” Abby was alone in her room at last.

  Her guard was outside in the form of Harby and Bitsy, her two most devoted gnomes. The others must have been outside patrolling the neighbourhood. She was confident that they would be there when she needed them, if she needed them.

  Now it was time for bed.

  * * * *

  Xander was in her dreams.

  She didn't bother asking him what he was doing there, she simply jumped him and straddled him, willing his clothing away. He tried to ask her a few questions, but she silenced him. At his astonished look, she smiled. “My dream, my rules. Talk later."

  She rubbed her body against him, revelling in the feel of the hair on his chest rasping against her. Huh, apparently, she was naked from the get go in erotic dreams. And she wanted this dream to get erotic, fast.

  His erection had been a little sluggish, but under some gentle coaxing, he was soon surging into her hand. She twisted against him and eventually straddled him. His heat against the slick dampness of her entrance and then the blunt head slowly moving into her as she sank onto him with delicious attention to his frantic movements. He wanted her to ride him and she would. In her own time.

  Rising and falling slowly with gradually increasing speed, propelled her headlong into the release that she had been seeking. “It's your turn, go nuts.” Her statement had only escaped her sated body by seconds when she was flipped over onto her belly, was drawn to her knees and he was thrusting into her with a passionate frenzy.

  When he was spent, he withdrew and fell to her side. “Now can we talk?"

  "It's your nickel so talk."

  "So Laura is not the one?"

  "The stalker? No. The gnomes are starting to qualify though. They sedated her so that I could get some meditation in."

  "Did you?"

  "Yeah, about six hours worth. My face is all sunburnt and itchy."

  "Are you all right?"

  "Yeah, I pushed fluids and the gnomes brought me AfterBurn. I'll be fine once I moult."

  He kissed her gently on the nose. “Your astral form isn't burned."

  "No, and it didn't actually have sex either. Wait. Did I just send a power wave out when I came?"

  "You did indeed."

  "And you knew I would?” His expression was answer enough. She stood and deliberately, but lightly put her foot on his cock for balance. “Thanks for letting me make an even bigger target of myself.” Sullen and disappointed, she returned to the guestroom.

  So they wanted to provoke a response from her stalker. She had just the idea.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  "Seesee, you are about to be subjected to my new resolution to get this over with.” Abby strode into the gorgon's home with none of the apology that she had shown to Laura.

  "Thank god. I do better with a plan of attack. What do you need me to do?” Her hair was wild, happy and hyper at the same time. She looked good, cheerful and relaxed with her self free at home.

  A blush flared in Abby's face. “I need to be pointed to a room where I can have privacy and be left alone for a few hours."

  "Right this way. Do you need anything?"

  "Nope. But after this, I am going to make a run for the shower. Ignore any noises you hear, please.” Steeling herself for the ordeal to come, she moved into the comfortable and well-appointed room. With a wave to her friend, she closed the door. Her bags and backpack hit the floor and, after a flying leap, she writhed on the bed. “I don't know if I can do this."

  The sheets tangled and her arm hit the headboard, the flare of pain made her hiss, but she also felt the surge of power. Aww, hell...

  Lust brought on her power, but she couldn't masturbate. The scabs on her hands rubbed against the skin of her belly as she tried to get herself in the mood, but it still wasn't working. It was like foreplay with an alligator. She tugged her shirt back down and contemplated her next move. It would have to be something to key her adrenaline. Not just lust. Xander seemed to be the trigger for that.

  She crept to the door, opened it and yelled, “Boo!” Interesting. A gnome could go straight into the air for about two feet. “Sorry, Harby. It was an experiment.” She leaned down to give him a short cuddle. This time he didn't unhook her bra, but he was still glaring at her as she patted him on the head and proceeded down the hall.

  "What was that about?” Seesee was watching her exiting the guest room with no little amount of surprise.

  "I tried an idea that I had, but it didn't work out.” Abby exposed her palms to the gorgon. “I didn't put these into the plan.” She let a little bit of a whine enter her voice, “Since I have been thwarted, can I get some breakfast?"

  Seesee laughed. “Of course. Your creatures have taken over the kitchen already."

  She had to wince. “Don't eat anything that I haven't tasted first. The gnomes have a funny sense of humour, they think I will be safest if you are unconscious."

  Astonishment was evident until the rueful laughter took its place. “They are probably correct. Until your powers are stable, you are in danger from the vast majority of magical creatures."

  "So Xander is fond of telling me.” It was a little disturbing
that Seesee had not denied being a danger to her. She followed her host into the kitchen and sure enough, there were the gnomes, preparing a feast.

  Idly, Abby wondered if they ever ate. She had never seen them eat, but they really knew their way around a kitchen. Orange juice was being squeezed and eggs whipped. Their tiny hands worked with efficiency, each gnome taking on one task, one portion of the assembly line to create the breakfast for their creator and her host.

  Mitsy tried to serve Seesee first and, with a heavy sigh, Abby reached out to take a forkful of omelette, only to have her hand smacked to keep the food from her mouth. “Guys, I told you to stop drugging my hosts. If they are going to do me in, it is going to happen regardless of what you do."

  Mitsy hung her head in shame, and in a subdued manner, the rest of them plated up the remaining food, to leave it on one large plate with smaller empty ones to the side. The implication that Abby got was that they were to eat from one plate to prove the innocence of the sustenance before them. Tricky little buggers.

  "You weren't kidding, were you?"

  "Nope. Juice?” She had the glass in her hand and a chagrined Harby claimed it from her and dumped it into the sink. “Do you think water would be safe?” Splint hobbled over to the refrigerator and climbed up to the water carafe, Skint stood beneath with a bucket and they emptied it out while Abby buried her head in her hands.

  "They are quick, aren't they?” Seesee was appalled, but had a grudging respect for their efforts to safeguard Abby. It was apparent by her expression.

  "Yes. Yes, they are.” When the food was finally sorted and Abby confirmed that it was un-tampered with, they had a belated and somewhat cool breakfast.

  "Their cooking is excellent.” Seesee wiped her mouth on a napkin. “How did you come to animate them?"

  With Seesee's earlier comment on not being able to trust her echoing in her mind, she told her what she felt was safe. Not that Xander had shown up and her hormones had triggered a magical wave. That was not something she needed to put on her business card. “Uh, Xander and I have not figured out that one. Fear and tension do seem to have an effect."