Gnomes of Suburbia Read online

  "She tried to kill you? While you were in a car with her?"

  "A minivan, but yeah. Listen, Miranda and I dated for about six months when I first moved to Oak Point. After that I saw her for the unbalanced being that she was."

  "Then why didn't you report her to the council?"

  "She had a rough life with her family. I didn't want to queer the deal if it was something that only came out with me in the vicinity."

  "But she tried to kill you."

  "She wanted to hurt you by killing me."

  "It would have done that. I don't know what I feel for you, but your death would have hurt me quite a bit.” It was a pale expression of how she felt, but the amount of time that they had spent together didn't warrant the L-word yet. Or she didn't think it did. His smile dazzled her.

  "It wasn't a resounding declaration, but I will take it."

  She was holding the mirror in her right hand and she began to trace around the edge with her left. Tiny trickles of power leaked into the mirror and suddenly she was seeing a woman with her head thrown back and masculine hands on her breasts. It took a moment for her to realize that she was seeing a memory and that the memory was Xander's.

  With a blush heating her face, she jerked her left hand from the mirror. The look in Xander's eyes and the flush on his own skin told her all she needed to know. The memory had been displayed on both mirrors.

  "How did you do that?"

  The angle of his mirror had changed slightly and she could see the tent of an erection within his trousers. Playing dumb was still an option. “Do what?"

  "Put that image on the mirrors that put that blush on your cheeks. And your nose and your forehead. And that made your nipples tent under your t-shirt and bra.” He was aroused, but smug.

  "Let me think for a minute.” So she did. She thought about what she had been imagining when the image appeared. She had been wondering if he was truly attracted to her or if it was just her talents as a Nexus that had him at her door. “I was wondering if you really liked me and why. And then I touched the mirror and a bit of power leaked into it."

  He looked more pensive and less horny now. “Could you do that again?"

  "What? Wonder about you?"

  "Or whatever. Whatever you want to know, think about it and touch the mirror.” He was intense.

  There was something in his mind and it wasn't naked pictures of her. Dang. What did Seesee's family look like? She stroked the mirror and again felt the almost passive movement of energy. Instantly she saw the picture of three mocha-skinned sisters with hair in a variety of designs and states of excitement, with three little girls who looked like the oldest sister. The little girls were close in age and laughing as the older sisters sat around a table and had tea. Hair was handing the dishes around in typical gorgon fashion and, as they sat there, two men walked into the room, one hugging Seesee's oldest sister and one putting his hands on the shoulders of the middle sister. Seesee was the only one who was alone. Suddenly it was too much for Abby, she jerked her hand from the mirror and soon saw the image of Xander again. “I got my answer. Did you see it?"

  "I did. You wanted to know about Seesee's family.” He was shaking his head. The mirror bounced lightly as he did. “Amazing. This is a talent that has never been documented in a Nexus."

  "Great. I am even more of a freak than I had imagined. Could you leave this out of the documentation?"

  "Difference is a good thing."

  "I could just be enhancing the existing enchantment that lets us use these silly things as a communication device."

  "It is possible. When I get back there, would you be up for experimentation?"

  "Sure. If I am not washing my hair that night."

  "Ouch. What am I thinking about right now?"

  Sighing she ran her finger across the glass only to jerk her hand off as if the glass was hot. The image he had fed her certainly was.

  "Aw, you didn't see all of it."

  "I saw enough. Didn't you?"

  "Not nearly enough.” His erection was more than a tent now, it was a pavilion. “See you in a few days, but I will ring you again tomorrow."

  "Nine-thirty?"

  "Yes. Dress accordingly, I want to play with this new talent of yours.” A lascivious wink and he was gone.

  The stunned reflection was her own once again. Wow. That had been interesting. And it was slightly more convenient than a web cam. No cables.

  The mirror itself puzzled her, did it only work when it was in use by two parties or could she peek in on other thoughts and families? Wow. That was too perverse for words. She would not let this bizarre turn of her life turn her into a supernatural peeping tom. Unless she was spying on Xander, but then she would stop at the edge of the stalker limit. She hoped.

  Self-control was something that she was still working on.

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  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Her charge had built up again by the time she woke up. Dreams of a naked Xander spurred on by the images of the night before no doubt had something to do with it.

  She tried to ignore it, but the magic pounded and tingled in her brain. It also defied all her attempts to drain it, in the house, the backyard, even the oak tree would not take the power. Something had to be done.

  Working from the sketch that she had made the afternoon before, she started to create her newest creature. Perhaps that would get the power out of her and into something else.

  Her gnomes tried to help her by bringing her the materials that she had used to create them. The resin, plaster and wire were all well meant, but not for this creature. She shooed the gnomes outside so she could concentrate and went back to her lab ... uh, workroom.

  This creature was dainty, a conglomeration of wire and silk, stuffing and thread. It had polymer fingernails and black velvet wings. Blue hair spilled down its back and a tiny toga dressed it up a bit.

  She was directly sculpting the features in fabric as opposed to the casting method she had used for the gnomes. It needed to stay light, airy and delicate, but it had steel wiring for a skeleton. It would be strong.

  The eyes were the final touch. She painted them with acrylics after she had finished the rest of the body. Eyes brought the soul of the creature to life and she couldn't run a needle through it while it was looking at her.

  So eyes were always her last step.

  In this case, there was one more. Holding the creature between her hands, she let the creative energy flow from her into the bundle of fabric and wire.

  "I am good!” Was her first cry and then she was ducking and trying to catch her new creature. Stupid wings.

  * * * *

  The gnomes turned their heads as one to look at the house where the Nexus was at work. Apparently she was happy about something.

  They continued to cavort and construct in the backyard, the Nexus needed a new place to meditate and a gazebo with an inlaid floor was the perfect spot. Now they just needed to finish it. Occasionally a swinging board caught one of them by surprise and a fight broke out, but tempers cooled as quickly as they flared and they resumed their task.

  An hour after the first outburst and some sharp banging noises were heard emanating from the workroom. The aura of the same creative magic that had brought them to life was pulsing in a wave throughout the house and into the yard.

  As one, they turned to bask in the fantastic feel of the animation magic coming from the Nexus. It was warm, loving and oh-so-powerful. And right now their benefactor was cursing a blue streak and shouting.

  "Get off the ceiling fan, you little twit."

  Curious, the gnomes walked to the patio door to watch the goings on within.

  The Nexus was trying to catch their new sibling and that sibling was flying. “Get off the drapes! Ow! Off my head!"

  With blatant curiosity, they watched the rapid approach of the new addition. They winced in sympathy as it collided with the clean glass. The Nexus soon got a hold of it and, holding it tightl
y, she brought it out to meet them.

  * * * *

  "Boys and girls, this is Buffy. She is the gargoyle prototype and my first flying creature. And possibly my last.” Abby was proud, irritated and exhausted all at the same time. The sudden takeoff and ensuing chase had taken her by surprise. A tiny chirp from the beastie in her arms made her look down. Buffy was as fascinated by the gnomes as they were by her.

  Taking a deep and calming breath, she released the creature from her arms and watched it glide softly to land in front of its peers. Buffy fluffed her long silky hair and extended her clawed hand. One by one, the gnomes took it and engaged in a cordial introduction that smacked of Victorian origins.

  "Okay, now that you have introduced yourself, Buffy, I want you to stay in the area. You can fly around Oak Point Way, but not into the town. If people see you, they may get a little scared. Do you understand?” The tiny head with the sparkling eyes and the distended fangs nodded gently. “Then, feel free to fly any time you wish."

  With a gleeful shriek, her latest creation took to the skies and headed straight toward the town center.

  With a shudder and a long look at her gnomes, she came to the inescapable conclusion. “This is so going to bite me in the ass."

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  Chapter Forty

  After two full days of ignoring what must be going on, she had to know what the news was reporting. Buffy had returned to her home and nested in the oak quite happily. Aside from her trepidation on creating more gargoyles, Abby just couldn't leave Buffy as the only one.

  Angel and Firefly were born the day after Buffy returned. Abby smiled every time she looked at them. She was a huge Joss Whedon fan.

  She chatted with Xander every evening and he told her absolutely nothing about what was going on. However, she learned that she could indeed tune into his lascivious thoughts at will, while he was on the line, so to speak. Nothing when the mirrors were not engaged.

  It was the power generated by those two chats that had brought Angel and Firefly to life.

  They nested happily with Buffy, but had an unfortunate tendency to buzz the population of Sargent.

  Abby rummaged in her fridge and found the remote behind the pickles. Of course, she could have turned the television on manually, but then what was the point of the remote control?

  With a strange combination of excitement and nausea, she took up her position on the couch and only vaguely heard the slide of the patio door. She fumbled slightly, but got the television on and turned to local news.

  "In local news, more unidentified creatures have been seen in the town of Sargent, but these ones fly.” The anchor was trying to keep a straight face. “Here is footage of the creatures stealing baseball hats and a variety of headgear from people picnicking in the park. The footage was recorded by a local woman who was documenting a Frisbee competition."

  The screen changed to a bright sunny day, the first few seconds were nothing but Frisbees flying and being caught. A startled cry off screen made the camerawoman spin and there was Buffy, yanking a baseball cap off a teenage boy. Another shout and a swing of the camera showed Angel and Firefly doing the same. They hovered for a moment, comparing their catches, then flapped off toward home, disappearing into a clump of trees.

  "The creatures have not yet been identified by zoological experts at the Winnipeg Zoo, but they seem to be a combination of spider monkey and bat."

  A warm body settled on her left shoulder and another on her right. They snuggled against her head, “Oh, no. You are not getting away with it that easily. Why are you stealing baseball caps?"

  A large snuffling noise came from the left of her head. “They smell? That's why? Oh boy. You are one twisted little pack of critters."

  The telly was now showing views of Harby and the crew carefully shopping at three in the morning at the local Home and Garden centre.

  "You guys know that I don't have enough money to pay for all the stuff you have stolen, right? And as soon as they figure out where you are coming from, they will be knocking down my door.” Warm bodies pressed against her legs and she closed her eyes as the tiny image of Skint watered the plants in his own special fashion before leaving them behind.

  Historical pictures now flashed on the screen. These were interesting. “We delved into the origin of this type of occurrence and came up with a few of these events in obscure histories. Gremlins appeared in fiction in 1929, these creatures were never before seen, but are documented as having a particular interest in flying aircraft. They caused mischief on both fronts in World War II.” Pictures of grotesque creatures, artist renderings, also moved across the screen.

  Abby surmised that is must have been a slow news day.

  "Ancient societies also recorded events of this nature. A mass migration of statues from Pompeii to Rome before the Vesuvius explosion. A flock of gargoyles off a variety of churches in the thirteenth century in Germany and a stampede of stone lions and dragons were sighted helping people escape from the Great Fire of London. Is Sargent the next town to add itself to this unusual distinction? After the break, why crossing the street may cause cancer..."

  She snapped the off button and glared at her little family. Angel and Firefly were on her shoulders, Buffy was on her left arm and the gnomes were clustered around her on the floor.

  "All right, boys and girls. It is time for the facts of life.” She made sure that she had all of their attention and kept going, “I can't afford the changes and upgrades that you are making to my yard. I can't afford to be sued for what you are stealing or the people you are freaking out."

  The little ring of faces grew sad.

  "I do not want you stealing money. If you happen to find it in your travels, buy yourselves some ice cream or something. Do. Not. Take. Anything. That. Isn't. Yours. To. Take. I love what you have done so far. But I only had enough money to buy this house. I didn't have any left over for renovations.” A thought occurred to her. “You know, my publisher sounded interested in another book. Maybe I should...” A small hand tapped her on the leg. Her camera was in Splint's hand.

  "Buffy, Angel, Firefly, come with me. It's time to earn your keep.” She wasn't sure where they would be displayed to their advantage, but she may as well give it a try.

  The project that had kept the gnomes out of her house had been one of amazing proportions. They had created a small version of Stonehenge where the explosion had occurred. It was the perfect place to take pictures of the gargoyles.

  Taking pictures of moving gargoyles was an event in and of itself.

  Acting as her assistants, her light meter, tripod, extra lenses and memory sticks were delivered to her in short order with Harby trying to keep the gargoyles under control. She just wished he hadn't whipped out his tiny handcuffs. What had possessed her to give him handcuffs?

  Eventually, the lady of wings agreed to pose in a still fashion as did her consort and companion.

  It was almost like photographing a wedding. A really weird wedding. But after hours of posing them, adjusting their minimal clothing and flaring their wings, she was finished. She was ready to craft the book and send it off to see if it would be a good buy for her publisher.

  Her gnomes kept her fed and answered the door when Laura showed up. They led her in and sat her down.

  "Hiya, Laura.” She was on page thirty-two, describing a wrestling match between the muscular Angel and the lighter Firefly. Apparently, it was over the cookie on top of one of the stones.

  "Hi, Abby. What are you working on?"

  "Another book."

  "Oh. What for?"

  "To make money. I am going to have to pay off the merchants that have been missing items that are showing up in my yard."

  "That is very noble of you, but why don't you ask the council to take care of it?"

  "Because I pay my debts and I don't know those fellas."

  "Fair enough. What is your book about?"

  Harby offered her a cup of tea.


  Abby looked up, smiled and took a sip of the scalding brew. “Whoa. That's hot. This new one is called Gargoyles in the Round. It features pictures of my new critters, Angel, Buffy and Firefly."

  "Aren't those the names of television shows?"

  "Yep. I am a Joss Whedon fan."

  "Who?"

  "The guy that developed the shows. He does good work."

  "Oh.” She absorbed that for a moment. “Did you know that your creatures are on the local news?"

  "Yup. I saw them. It is what spurred me to want to finish the book. I am responsible for those thefts."

  "Great. But did you notice that people are trying to track them?"

  "Uh, no. I missed that bit. I thought that Oak Point Way was hidden from the view of people without magic."

  "It is. The river isn't. You are featuring with your gargoyles on the Six o'clock News."

  "Fuck."

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  Chapter Forty-One

  It wasn't as bad as she had imagined. Sure, she was obviously taking photos of her creatures in the tiny grainy picture. But it merely looked as if she was friendly with the strange creatures. That is, until her gnomes gathered around and started to hand her stuff. Then she knew she was busted.

  Her agent called three hours after the news. “Honey, was that actually you? On the news, I mean."

  "Yeah, Tina, but I am not outing myself quite yet. If they don't know who I am, I am happy.” Her agent only called when she wanted something. “What do you want, Tina?"

  "I couldn't help but notice that you were taking photos in that footage, is there another book in the offing?"

  "Yes. Do you want it via email or snail mail?"

  "Email please. We can't afford to miss the frenzy that is starting in Sargent. It could be the next Mystical Spot."

  She sounded genuinely excited so as they spoke, Abby went to her computer and started to send the enormous book and photo files. “You had better clear out your email, this thing is huge."

  "I am ready for it. Send it on through."

  A few dozen keystrokes later, “Here it comes. Let me know what you think.” She waited while Tina Stephanic muttered and opened the upload.