Dear Santa, Get Bent! Read online

  “Have a nice consult, Dani.”

  Dani hung up and got into her car. Her reflection in the window had shown her that her horns were still very much a part of her, but when she was around humans, they disappeared.

  Keeping her horns was a weird effect of the magic that she was pleased with. She would really miss her horns if they altered in any way. Humans saw what they expected to see, and they saw her as human.

  The drive to the location was quick, and her lips quirked in a grin as she parked near the door. It was a lingerie shop.

  Silken Mystique was proclaimed in elegant, tasteful letters above the door. Dani got her computer bag and headed to the door, knocking briskly.

  The shadow that filled the doorway was not that of a petite shopkeeper. The door unlocked, and it was pushed outward. “Ms. Sherwood?”

  “I am.”

  “Please, come in. My name is Argus Breathewaite, current owner of this establishment.” He cleared his throat. “I wasn’t expecting you to show up in leather.”

  “I wasn’t expecting to go to a client’s business this evening. It is a compromise that I am here at all. Please call me Dani.”

  She smiled at the inventory. In the dim light, the silken jewel tones glowed in peignoirs, camisoles, gowns and more delicate garments that led back into the shop. She wanted to touch them all, rubbing them against her cheek, her skin.

  He latched the door behind her and led her further in. “The woman who owned the shop before me was not the best bookkeeper. I need you to do an audit of the business in its entirety.”

  She sighed. “How long do I have?”

  “I need to be up and selling or I will miss the entire season.” Argus smiled.

  She stared at him, his long brown hair brushed the back of his collar, his skin was a deep tan and he had far more the look of a farm worker than a lingerie shop owner. That said, if he was selling, the ladies would be buying. Something about him screamed sex.

  She muttered, “I don’t think sales will be a problem.”

  “Well, I need to get in my final order before the holidays. For that, I need an inventory check, and there isn’t room in here for more than two people. Will you take me on?”

  She blinked rapidly at the images that those words evoked.

  Dani licked her lips and looked up at him. “I think we can get this in motion.”

  His lips tightened and his eyes brightened. “I see. Well, then, I will need to show you the office.”

  Dani braced herself, but was still a little stunned to see the piles of paperwork that were on every surface. She took a step forward, and one of the piles began a slow slide to the floor.

  Acting on reflex, she moved to match her name and dashed in to grab the falling paper. “I believe you mentioned coffee?”

  Argus chuckled. “How do you take it?”

  “Double cream, double sugar. Extra strong.” She snorted. “I will try and make heads and tails of this mess.”

  He chuckled. “Back in a minute.”

  She had a minute, so she used her reindeer magic to stop time and organize enough of the paper to free up two chairs and enough of the desk for her computer and a cup of coffee.

  When he came back in, she was setting up her laptop and was sitting at the desk.

  “Wow, you work quickly.”

  She grinned. “Accelerated Audits are done with speed and care. Working quickly is what we do.”

  She fired up a new file, and the basic spreadsheet was ready for her data input. The company name went on the header and Argus Breathewaite went in under proprietor.

  She asked him about any assets, the finances and how the banking was arranged.

  When she had the basics down and her coffee was empty, she went back to her bag and groped around for the clipboard.

  “What kind of an inventory system do you have?”

  “I don’t know.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Will you come with me?”

  “Lead on.”

  The low rumble went through her bones. She sighed and headed for the storeroom.

  The space was barely large enough for her to turn around. When Argus came in, it was positively intimate. His body heat warmed the entire space.

  She grabbed at a box and hauled it toward her. The contents were wrapped in plastic, and she opened it carefully. “It seems that each item has a care tag, and you create inventory stickers at the main terminal.”

  He frowned. “How did they know what they had in stock if they didn’t tag it before setting it in here?”

  Dani rubbed her forehead. “She didn’t.”

  She stood and lifted the gown up, examining it closely. It looked lovely, but there were stitching errors. “I need to examine the stock out front in good lighting.”

  “Why?”

  “Under the terms of the purchase contract that I read, she promised that all the stock was of saleable quality. That is not the case for this particular gown. It is a factory second.”

  Argus sighed. “I feared as much. Let’s go and take a look.”

  She wondered that if he had guessed it was crappy stock, why he had bought it at all.

  An hour later, Argus was on the phone and placing a stock-replacement order to be shipped as quickly as possible. Dani was a little surprised that he had found someone to take on the order at such short notice, but he seemed completely confident in the timing of the order.

  “We will have it in two days.” He smiled. “I know folks who are excellent at emergency manufacturing.”

  Dani hid her smile. She knew some excellent makers as well, but she wasn’t in a position to call on them. The workshop was off limits.

  Dawn was creeping up, and she rubbed her eyes. “Well, I think I need to get some breakfast and some rest. I will be back this evening.”

  “Excellent. May I join you for breakfast? There is a wonderful restaurant just across the parking lot.”

  Dani blinked. “Oh, of course.”

  She had her bag and her laptop. She slid her leather jacket on and watched as he grabbed his own jacket and keys.

  After locking up, he offered her his arm, and he nodded toward the building across the way, decorated with vehicles that were slowly filling up the lot near its doors.

  Bemused at the courtly gesture, she took his arm and walked with him to Champion’s Breakfast.

  Once they were seated in a cozy booth, he asked her, “What made you become a nocturnal auditor?”

  She wrinkled her nose. “I have always had a head for numbers and most of my working life has been after sundown. It seemed a natural choice.”

  He nodded. “It is just surprising that a woman of your beauty has brains as well.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “I put them in my letter to Santa when I was five. He delivered.”

  Argus blinked and slowly smiled.

  “Argus is a strangely old-fashioned name, isn’t it?”

  He chuckled. “It is a family name going back a few generations.”

  “The giant with a hundred eyes.” She sipped at the coffee between her palms while she looked at the menu.

  “That is a strangely precise knowledge.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “My family and I are big readers. We do tons of reading during the off-season.”

  He inclined his head. “Brothers? Sisters?”

  Dani nodded. “Sisters. Lots of sisters.”

  The server came up, and Dani ordered a stack of blueberry pancakes with a side of sausage.

  Argus ordered bacon, eggs, toast and a side of pancakes.

  As the light brightened, the buzzing of activity became a noise-dampening hum.

  Argus leaned forward. “So, where were you when I called?”

  “A local bar. I was people watching.” She smiled.

  “Just watching?”

  “Of course. I am on call.”

  He chuckled. “Well, I am grateful that you are. I wouldn’t have spotted the manufacturing details until it was too late.” />
  She sighed. “I have to ask. Did you buy it sight unseen?”

  “I did. I have an agent who acts on my behalf when I am interested in a new project. The urge just struck me, and so, here we are.”

  “Seriously? You just bought a stocked shop on an impulse?”

  “It is a better use of my time and money than any of the other options.” He shrugged.

  “Well, I suppose that as long as I get paid, I don’t really care why you do what you do.” She snickered.

  Their food arrived, and they each sat back as the large platters were placed in front of them. The stack of pancakes could have fed her in her reindeer form. It was huge.

  She was halfway through when he asked a question that caught her by surprise.

  “Are you seeing anyone?”

  Dani blinked rapidly. “Um, no. I have had my fun and am waiting until after the holidays before I put myself out there again. Are you seeing someone?”

  He smiled. “Not this year. I have been waiting for someone who sparks ideas.”

  “Sparks ideas?” She raised her brows.

  “Yes. To find someone that makes you want to be adventurous, want to dazzle them and, at the same time, curl up in front of a fire with them. That is what I want.”

  She nodded and pushed her plate away. “Get a dog.”

  He paused and then laughed. “It does sound rather pretentious.”

  “It really does.” She chuckled and yawned. “Well, this has been fun, but I have to get going before the rest of these pancakes become my pillow.”

  “Have a nice rest, Dani. It has been a productive first meeting.”

  She yawned and reached for her wallet.

  He put his hand up. “I have it.”

  She winked. “Keep the receipt and declare it on your taxes. Consider it a business meeting.”

  Argus nodded. “See you this evening?”

  “I will be here at six.”

  “See you then.”

  She got to her feet and left the diner, heading to her car as the parking lot filled in around it. She was glad it was a ten-minute drive. She wasn’t up for much more time awake than that.

  The trip was quick, and the moment she got in the door, she started stripping. Bed was calling, and she didn’t even have time to contact Ru. She would call her later, after she rested.

  Dreams should not be that hot. Dani woke and her body was still throbbing with the feel of Argus’s mouth on her. It was funny, because she had no basis for the memory.

  She scooted up her headboard and wrapped her arms around her legs, concentrating on calling Ru. To her surprise, there was no response.

  Rudolph always responded. If she wasn’t answering, then the moment had arrived. Santa knew his reindeer were missing.

  “Damn. Well, there goes the vacation.” Dani sighed and headed for the shower. She had always intended to go home. It was just that she wanted to experience the build-up to the holidays like the humans did. She wanted to see their excitement as the holiday got closer and be part of their approach in whatever way she could.

  Her position as auditor made her particular participation a little odd, but she was giving folks peace of mind before they headed into the new year. It was part of the preparations, and she was happy to be able to help in her own small way.

  She checked her email and caught up with the office, giving details of her participation in the organization of the business and an estimate of how long it would take. She had given Argus until Christmas Eve eve. She would help as much as she could, but she had to be back at the workshop before Christmas Eve.

  If Argus didn’t need her help that long, she would just find other things to do to welcome the season. It was her first time interacting with humans face to face, and she was loving the experience of seeing the lights and decorations for the season she usually lived in with no extra fanfare.

  At the workshop, Christmas was just another day, only with more work, not less. Out in the human world, it was bright, filled with food, emotions—dark and light—and hope for what might happen next. It was wild.

  Dani finished her shower and tried to contact with Ru again. This time, there was a spark of communication. It was enough to tell her what she needed to know. The elves were coming.

  Dani made her breakfast, or brunch if she wanted to be fussy. Four hours of sleep had charged her up, and now, she had to pick an outfit to wear to work.

  It took her an hour to pick out a sensible yet sexy dress. It dawned on her that she might be crawling around or helping pack up inventory, so she switched her choice to slacks and a clinging top with a cowl neck that showed cleavage when she bent over.

  Her curls bounced as she bent, and she looked into her reflection. With a scowl, she went and changed her underwear into a bra that plunged and hiked her breasts up at the same time. It would be silly to ignore the attraction between her and Argus, and if she had gone to all the trouble to arrange to be with him, one night from him wasn’t too much to ask. She was simply laying out the welcome mat to let him know that she would accept any move he made.

  “How did you manage to get this much stock sent overnight?” Dani was opening boxes with a carefully wielded cutter.

  Argus grinned. “I know a few people.”

  She pulled one of the chemises out of the box, and she nearly moaned at the feel and colour. Dark rainbow silk was spilling over her hands in a cool wave.

  “This is wonderful.” She held the silk up against herself and turned from side to side.

  “Try it on.” Argus was leaning against one of the display cabinets.

  “That gets filed under highly inappropriate.”

  He shrugged and continued to verify the contents of the boxes against the packing slips. “Fine, but don’t be surprised if the sizing isn’t quite right. I have no way of checking, personally. You would be doing me a favour.”

  Her inner clotheshorse wanted to try the silk on, so she took it to the change room and followed her instinct.

  The touch of the silk on bare skin was everything she thought it would be. The chemise fell to mid-thigh, and it clung to her curves and draped softly everywhere else.

  She wanted to see it in the three-way mirror, but that was out in the hall between change rooms. Dani opened her door and snuck out, loving the look of the dark silk on her body when a change in the atmosphere got her attention.

  Argus was standing next to the change room archway. “Well...” He cleared his throat. “The fit is perfect.”

  “I think so. The fabric is amazing. What is your profit margin on these? If it is less than two hundred percent, you are giving them away.” She ran her hands down her belly, over her hips and to her thighs.

  Sighing, she returned to the change room and got back into her black trousers and her draped shirt.

  When she tugged back the curtain, Argus was waiting.

  Dani couldn’t help it. She yelped in surprise. “Don’t do that.”

  He grinned. “What?”

  She reluctantly slid the silk chemise into his hand. “Don’t lurk outside the change room door. It will be bad for business or will keep you so busy you will not be able to attend to anyone else.”

  He chuckled and stepped back. “I have staff arriving to deal with clients.”

  She sighed with relief. “Oh, good.”

  She eased out of the change room. “I think I will make that chemise the first purchase of your shop. Let’s get back to inventory.”

  He stroked the silk in his hand slowly. “I shall put it aside for you.”

  Dani smiled brightly. “Thank you. Now, that is enough of a break. Back to work.”

  It took them two hours to register all of the new stock, and Dani sat with the laptop, pricing the glorious collection while Argus put up the displays. Her stomach rumbled and Argus looked at her.

  “Would you care for some dinner?”

  Without waiting for an answer, he pulled out his phone, and his thumb moved rapidly on the flat surfac
e. He slipped the phone back in his pocket and smiled. “It will be here in ten minutes.”

  “What did you order?”

  He grinned. “Pizza. I always order from them when I am in town.”

  She grinned. “Excellent. I have experimented with a few local places, but I always enjoy trying something new.”

  The prices she was inputting were reasonable. Wherever he had gotten the clothing, they had charged him an excellent price, including shipping.

  Sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes, she didn’t realize how locked up her butt was until she set her laptop aside and tried to stand. “Oh, damn.”

  Argus was putting a bra and panty set on a padded hangar. “What is it?”

  “My butt is numb. Hold on while I fight myself to my feet.”

  He chuckled and came over to help her up. “Take my hands.”

  She placed her hands in his, and he pulled her to her feet. She smacked up against him. He held her hands and pressed them to her lower back, pinning her to him.

  She enjoyed the feeling of being pressed against him, but when he released her hands and started to massage the feeling back into her butt, she squirmed.

  “While I appreciate the effort, we have a lot more work to do.”

  He sighed and kept kneading until tingling in her butt went from pain to pleasure. “There. Now that your muscles are relaxed, you can take a seat behind the counter and not the floor.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Thank you.”

  His hands remained on the curves of her ass and her pelvis was pressed against a definitely interested cock. The knock at the front door broke up whatever was going between them.

  Argus sighed, and she felt it rustle her hair. “Pizza is here.”

  The knock sounded again, and he let her go. Dani staggered a little and leaned against the counter. Perhaps she should just have sex with him tonight. He wouldn’t remember it the next day. They would be back to business as usual.

  The man who brought the pizza was shrouded in shadow, but he handed it over and disappeared into the night. Argus closed the door and latched it with a quick click. He approached the counter with the pizza box and the dangling soda cans.

  She made room, and he set the box down. Argus went to the back, brought out some high stools and set one on either side of the counter. “Dig in.”