Gnomes of Suburbia Read online

"Well, you are single, like arts and crafts and have few friends nearby. Not to mention family."

  "How did you know all that? Are you a private detective or something?” It was creepy. She was right on the money. Well, not about the family. Her family had washed their hands of her move the instant that they saw all of her crafting stuff.

  "Me? No I own a pet store in town.” Laura presented a card that stated Exner's Exotics—Saltwater fish for your aquarium. “I just noted your lack of assistance for your move, the single name on all the boxes and the little show of you unloading a moving truck by yourself.” She crossed her arms, drummed her immaculate nails and smiled. “You are either the most stubborn individual that I have ever seen or you had no one to help you."

  Abby raised a brow, “What about the arts and crafts?"

  Laura tapped one of the boxes of marked plaster with her stiletto. “I assume that this is actual plaster and that you don't enjoy hauling twenty kilo boxes for entertainment."

  Laughter seemed the only option, “Entertainment it isn't. It's my livelihood."

  "Oh? What do you do for a living?” Bending gracefully Laura picked up two of the plaster boxes and nodded toward Abby's new home. “You coming?” The heft of the burden was not noticeable in her stride, Laura must workout.

  "Uh, sure.” She picked up a box of her own and almost staggered under the weight. “I sculpt creatures and then take photos of them in costume. My first book just came out.” She took point and slithered past her deceptively strong new acquaintance. “In here."

  Her workshop was one of the larger rooms in the house. She supposed it was originally a formal dining space, but she couldn't resist using the light streaming in through the sliding glass doors.

  "Wow. It seems like almost all your boxes are supplies.” Laura gave the boxes a longing look. “I don't suppose you would have any finished sculptures handy, would you? I would love to see your work."

  Abby sighed and looked toward the front of the house. “Could it wait for another time? It is going to take me a while to finish moving all these boxes."

  "Hmm. Would you like some help? One of the other ladies on the street is off today and I think Verne is home."

  "Uh, that would be great. Is Verne your boyfriend?"

  Laura snorted daintily. “Well, we go out occasionally, but nothing serious. He lives in number twenty one.” She flipped out a cell phone and began to dial and walk as she headed back to the curb. It was impressive. Abby couldn't dial and talk at the same time.

  Bemused, Abby followed and began a stately shuttle of boxes into her home. In minutes, they were joined by two more inhabitants of Oak Point Way.

  This sure was a friendly neighbourhood.

  * * * *

  Verne Fisher was charming. A shade under six feet tall, a neatly trimmed beard and moustache in a dark brown hue and his ice blue eyes calmly focussed on Laura the entire time that he was helping with the move. It was the gaze of a patient hunter, the knowledge of the outcome clearly stamped in his eyes.

  Seesee Montrose was much more animated and a far better conversationalist. Her hair was a thick mass of braids that framed her delicate and exotic mocha features. Her eyes were a startling contrast, a brilliant violet that met her own with a direct gaze. It was from Seesee that she learned that Verne was a Customs officer who had been sniffing after Laura for eighteen months. What a surprise.

  Laura's shop specialized in saltwater fish and tanks, and all the accoutrements for maintaining the exotic creatures. Her face lit up as she described the importance of meeting clients and matching the fish and the tanks with the maintenance level they were willing to give.

  Seesee's shop was far more mundane, and to Abby, far more fascinating. She owned a bakery. One of the best in town.

  Montrose's Munchies sold cakes, cookies and treats of the high calorie variety. She promised to deliver some of the treats the next time that she visited. Today was for celebrating a new addition to their neighbourhood.

  When all the boxes had been shifted into her home and some were being unpacked by the strangers, Abby asked the question that she had been dying to since Laura picked up that first box. “It's very nice and all, but why did you all come to help me move in?"

  "I think that that answer needs some tea.” Laura was already in the kitchen and unpacking boxes. She had obviously found the kettle as the whistle had sounded earlier. A tray rattled as she led the way into the living room, Seesee grabbed Abby's arm and dragged her along.

  "Uh, can I wash my hands first?” Abby was almost digging her heels in as they passed the bathroom.

  Seesee had the grace to blush, “Oh, certainly.” Her hair shifted almost restlessly but Abby was certain that it was a trick of the light. It almost looked alive.

  Verne was something of an interior decorator. As soon as he finished moving the furniture, he had turned to her bathrooms and sorted her toiletries. He was so metro it was scary, and yet he had this weird lumberjack vibe that emanated from him almost constantly. He was an urban warrior with a great sense of style.

  She used the pump soap that she used for her hands when they were covered with plaster and scrubbed a lot of the dirt and grime out from under her nails. She would never be able to compete with Laura's immaculate manicure so she was giving up and settling for tidy.

  Entering her new living room filled with people who didn't even know her and yet who had helped her move in, she was almost in tears. It was too much. Her day had been more stressful than she could have ever predicted. She was overwhelmed by every emotion she had ever experienced.

  "I just wanted to thank you all so much. I am lucky to have new neighbours like you. If there is anything I can ever do for you, just let me know.” A tear did manage to struggle from her eye. As it tracked down her cheek, her audience watched with rapt attention. The instant that it hit the floor there was a thunderclap, the walls of the house shook.

  "What the heck was that?” Abby was on her feet in an instant. The last thing she wanted was one of the enormous oaks in her roof. The sky was blue and clear. No sign of the ominous noise.

  "I am sure it was just a car backfiring.” Seesee's voice was reassuring and satisfied at the same time. “Come back and sit down so we can all get to know you."

  "That was one big effing car.” That made her pause for a second before she sat down. “Uh, if this is about some kind of kinky stuff, I am not interested. I currently don't swing in any direction."

  She calmly sipped her tea as she waited for the laughter to die down. Okay, so maybe they were just friendly.

  "Sorry to laugh at you, Abby, but that is not the reason that we wanted to talk to you. It has been so long since a new nex ... ooof!” The elbow that Verne drove into Laura's side had a bit of force behind it. She glared at him as she continued. “A new next door neighbour moved in. We have a tight little community here and actually enjoy talking to our neighbours. Number Thirteen has been empty for quite a while. If I may ask, didn't you have any second thoughts about purchasing an unlucky number?"

  Abby had been preparing for this question since she signed the contract. “I like the number thirteen. It's a prime number, it contains a one and a three. I like those numbers as well. Plus the house just feels right.” She looked around at the oak floors and cream walls. “It feels perfect. The second that I saw it, it was mine."

  "Excellent. This neighbourhood has needed someone like you. Oh, I am your next door neighbour on your left, in number Nine.” Laura nodded to her and smiled while getting her second cup of tea. “I have the only pool on the block so feel free to pop by anytime to use it. Really. Anytime."

  "Thanks. That is very generous and kind of creepy, but I don't know how to swim.” The shock on Laura's face was almost comical. “I never had the opportunity to learn. Do you know somewhere I could take classes?"

  "Yup. My backyard pool. Six o'clock tomorrow night. I am fully certified as a swimming instructor.” Her face still showed her shock that an adult could not
swim. She was recovering slowly.

  "And when you get tired of swimming, I'll pop by and you can get your just desserts.” Seesee piped in. “Oh, if you need me for anything I am Number One. On the street, that is, Number One Oak Point Way."

  "To get it over with, I am in number Twenty One. Directly across the circle from Laura.” Verne didn't sound too happy about that. His grimace indicated that he wanted to be considerably closer, at all times.

  The conversation turned to her selection of DVDs and then trailed off as they began to get ready to leave. Their impromptu party unravelled quickly and soon they were out the door, with Abby promising to take swimming lessons. They walked slowly down her sidewalk, murmuring to themselves, and she could only sigh with relief that she had landed in a welcoming neighbourhood.

  * * * *

  "You idiot! She doesn't know she's a Nexus. She hasn't even begun more than the basic manifestations.” Verne hissed it in Laura's ear on their way down to the street. He loved her, but tact was not one of her strong points.

  "Well, her vow was more than basic. Did you feel that shockwave?” Seesee was amazed, the power of that tiny gesture had almost caused an animation. But she had to keep her eye on Abby. After all, it was up to Abby to control the expansion of the magic that would be produced. Her hair hissed in annoyance at the restraint it had been asked to engage in and she shook it out to let it free. The braids unravelled in seconds. Tiny snake-like tendrils moved softly in the afternoon breeze.

  She didn't worry about being seen. There was only one minimally magical person on the street and she wasn't at home today. Randy was goodhearted, friendly and completely harmless for someone without an ounce of talent, she simply had been born into a magical family. A rare find and a welcome member of their close little community.

  Her hair danced and caught the breezes, revelling in the new magic that had been spilled in the neighbourhood. She liked Abby. The new Nexus was a genuinely nice person. Now, if she could get control over her growing talents quickly, it would be much easier for her to join the magical community at large. For her sake, Seesee hoped that she was a quick study. Wild magic would not be tolerated indefinitely. The council would only leave her alone as long as she was under control. If she lost her control, she would lose her liberty.

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  Chapter Four

  Dreams were Abby's weakness and the reason that she loved to get her eight hours of sleep. She loved the experiences in dreaming, even if she couldn't remember them. She only wished that the people she met in her dreams were as real as they seemed.

  Tonight's dream was no different.

  Everything was pastel. A huge crescent moon hung over a scene that reminded her of her new backyard. The huge oak was moving on its own, creatures that were surprisingly human jumped out of the river to wave at her and she wandered around this magical place touching and sniffing everything. It all seemed so bright and attractive.

  Awash in her magical world, she held in a giggle as her gnomes strutted themselves across the green. Harby was exceptionally cute as she pranced in his leather and vinyl finery. Bitsy was controlling the others by herding them into formations that had endless sighs and laughter coming from their creator.

  The gnomes were joined by the memory of creatures that she had made to sell to supplement her income. Dolls, unicorns, dragons and beasts that had no name populated the yard.

  Their amusing capering held her attention for what seemed like hours until she felt a strange presence enter her little Eden.

  It was a man, or at least the shadow of a man. Power seemed to come off him in waves as he approached her. He had no features, but was simply an outline of a masculine nature.

  "So how are you liking your new home, Abby?” His voice was deep, rich, and she wanted to listen to him read the phonebook.

  "I like it just fine."

  "And your new neighbours?"

  "They seem friendly. I think I could like it here.” She looked around and noted that her gnomes had gotten into a keg of beer. Two of the buggers had crawled onto her moon and were singing songs while dangling from the crescent.

  A drumbeat started in the background. “That's weird. My mind usually doesn't have a soundtrack.” The beat shifted into an upbeat tango. A band kicked in and soon her mind was alive with her creatures dancing and the gnomes singing off key.

  "I brought it along. Shall we dance?"

  She looked up at Mr. Shadowface, “I don't know how to tango."

  "Just trust me."

  "Dude, you don't even have a face."

  He held out his arms. “Does it really matter? This is your dream after all."

  He had a point. Abby took a deep breath and stepped into his arms.

  The first steps were awkward, but after he caught her a few times, she realized that he was a lot more substantial than he looked. They started to move faster and her head was whirling, it was only during the final dip that she had a chance to catch her breath.

  It finally hit her and she had to ask, “What are you doing in my dream?"

  He bowed formally from the waist after setting her on her feet, “Just welcoming you to the neighbourhood, Abby. Care for a waltz?"

  She shrugged and embraced him again. A dance partner was a dance partner. Who cared how he got into her mind?

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  Chapter Five

  When Abby woke the next morning, everything was quiet. She felt calm, serene, but still, it was too quiet. The sounds of the city were gone. Winnipeg wasn't huge, but it was still larger than the tiny town of Sargent. She immediately got up and started to make some noise, anything to break the silence. When she had a cup of coffee in front of her and was seated at the counter of her kitchen drinking it with a CD playing in the background, she could finally relax. And think.

  Ah, nothing like moving into one's own home. At long last she had a place to call her own. No upstairs neighbour stomping like an elephant and no one behind a wall who liked to have domestic arguments at the top of their lungs. She had never felt right with the noise and clatter of the city, but here, she could breathe.

  The peace and quiet might take some getting used to, but she loved it as much as it disturbed her. Taking her coffee with her, she went into her workroom and started to unpack. First her big book and then her gnomes.

  Having their little cheerful faces around her would make her feel more at home. She took them out of their crates one by one and smiled as she lined them all up. Harbinger was her bondage gnome, kitted out in black leather, zippers and studs. She had even put a zipper running up his pointed gnome hat. His name had been a play on words. A sex related gnome meaning things to come. She hadn't been able to pass it up. His creation had spurred on the wave of creativity that had spawned the others. Even Bitsy.

  She checked to make sure that the tutu of the ballerina gnome was intact. It had come loose in transit so she brought her over to the worktable that Verne had set up for her and got to work on repairs.

  Hours passed before she looked up and it was something making noise outside that had distracted her. Specifically something knocking on her door.

  Wiping her hands on her jeans, she blinked and stumbled to the front door. Holy crud. If this is what the church canvassers looked like in this neighbourhood, she was going to convert. She didn't even care if squirrel shaving was one of the requirements. Sign her up.

  She finally remembered to open the door and smiled at her visitor. “Uh, hello?"

  "Hiya. I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Alexander Desmith and I live next door in Number Seventeen.” He held out his hand for her to shake. His palm was warm, firm and he held her hand carefully. He almost seemed afraid to touch her or harm her by the contact. That was a little weird.

  "Hi. I am Abby. Uh, Annabeth Hanover. I just moved in.” She was babbling. She couldn't help it. Blonde wavy hair, baby blue eyes and a body that had to work out at least four times a week. He was amazing to
look at.

  When he smiled, he was even prettier. “I know. Laura told me to present myself or face her wrath.” No fair. He had dimples and a strangely familiar silhouette. Ah well.

  She smiled back, her heart racing and blood pounding through her veins. “Laura is rather intimidating, isn't she? She has demanded that I learn to swim.” Something occurred to her, “I'm being terribly rude, would you like to come in for coffee?” She remembered that hers was a few hours old. “I was just about to put on a new pot anyway."

  "That would be great. Having Laura pounding on my door the instant that I got back from a business trip was a little intimidating.” That mind-smacking grin was back and she could almost feel the air around her trembling with energy.

  She found herself backing away from him, down the hall and all the way to the kitchen. She was so going to slap herself once he had gone.

  She went about the mechanics of making coffee. “What do you do for a living if you don't mind my asking?"

  "I am a consultant. I sweep in when things are going wrong and try and sort them out.” He perched his chin in his hands as he leaned on the counter. “I know it's vague, but each situation is different."

  "Sounds reasonable to me."

  "Turnabout is fair play, what do you do?"

  She couldn't help it, her lips twisted in a smirk that she tried to hide. “I have recently discovered a small but interesting market for books featuring gnomes in urban settings."

  "Gnomes? Like that one in the corner there?” He gestured over to Harbinger who was occupying a corner of the kitchen.

  "Huh, I thought that he was in the workshop. I must have moved him while working on Ruffles."

  "Ruffles?"

  "The ballerina gnome.” She stood. “The coffee will take a moment, Alexander. Do you want to see them?"

  "Xander, please. And I would love to.” He scooted past Harbinger and looked a little abashed. “Are they all dressed like ... uhh."

  "No, he is my only BDSM gnome. The rest are all based on other costumes and themes.” She smiled at the small marching row of gnomes on the floor.