Gnomes of Suburbia Read online

The fish were trying to swim while still on strings, Laura was stuck in her mermaid shape, Seesee's hair was going wild and Miranda was looking at her like she was a freak.

  What else could she do? She ran home and hid under the covers.

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  Chapter Seven

  The gnomes trooped gleefully into the backyard, chortling amongst themselves as they enjoyed their first moments of life. They chuckled and hugged as they gathered in their yard, rejoicing in their sentience and mobility.

  As the eldest, Harbinger took it upon himself to begin organizing their community. Names were on the agenda as he thought the names of some of his brothers and sisters slightly silly. “Ladies and gentle gnomes. I know that our mistress has named us according to her whim, but would any of you care to be known amongst your brothers and sisters by another name?"

  Bitsy stepped forward. “I am Bitsy. Our mistress named me and it is the name that I will answer to when a human calls. I will be proud to carry the name I was given until the day that my life drains from me, if it ever does. My true name is still within me and that is enough.” Bitsy stood proud. The others slowly nodded. Their names had been chosen by the one who brought them life. It would be a dishonour to reject them.

  "Now. Do we stay and serve the Nexus or go into the world and make our way?"

  "What would we do?” Ruffles asked.

  "Where would we go?” Skint chipped in his own query.

  "How would we get there?"

  "What do we know about this place or the physical world really?"

  The debate raged all day. Bitsy wished to stay with the mistress, but Splint argued that their lives were theirs to live. They need not wait on her to earn their keep. She had created them intelligent and able-bodied. They could fend for themselves.

  "Enough!” When they fell quiet again, Harby continued. “It is obvious that we need to become familiar with this world, and at the same time, the Nexus is coming into her power. She needs us here. We do not wish her to run afoul of anyone before she has grasped her control."

  Bitsy nodded. “I will not leave her, but what do you propose, Harbinger?"

  "That we use this opportunity to both protect the Nexus and to learn about her world. We will use her yard as a base of operations and expand our knowledge of the world from here. After we know more of this place, we can discuss it again."

  His brothers and sisters nodded. “What do we do first?"

  "Well, the sky is darkening. I was thinking of following the road and seeing where it leads.” With giggles of agreement and enthusiastic grins, Harby and the gnomes took to the open road.

  Their feet pattered quietly on the pavement and, each time a car passed, they ran for the shrubs. They may have just stood still and pretended to be statuary, but it was a hard thing to do when their instincts screamed at them to run.

  The town was huge to their eyes. Mind you, to them all human creations were enormous. They took in the town square, the grocery, the home and garden center and the tiny computer repair shop.

  Mitsy peeled off from their group and began to examine the door to the grocery store. Her brow furrowed as she eyed the locks. “The Nexus needs breakfast tomorrow. She has not had time to shop. How do we get inside?” Mitsy was being practical. It was a good thing that she was, none of the others had even considered the physical upkeep of the Nexus herself. If she lost physical power, their lives might be endangered as her power sought to return to her body.

  Harby was a little embarrassed, but he tackled the task with all the enthusiasm of a career felon. After a few minutes of searching around, he found an entrance to it. The round holes in the ground with the metal cover led to drains that were smelly, but they connected to every building in town. The gnomes were just the right height and width to make their way through their dark expanses. They had the key to every business in town, it led through the sewer.

  It had to be magic because after they finished their crawl through the tunnels, they didn't keep the stench on them. Nor the filth. They were as clean as the day they had been made, but they were not going to bring any items out through the depths.

  Shopping was managed when they actually figured out what the Nexus would want in the morning. It was called a cookbook. Bitsy memorized three while Splint and Mitsy went with Skint to the home and garden center to find some nice plants and tools for them to begin sprucing up their home base. The Nexus's home was serviceable, but it lacked a certain style. She needed a little help in that department and they were just the gnomes to help her.

  Harby and Ruffles did the shopping with deliberate attention, following Bitsy's instructions to the letter, a modest but thorough compilation of groceries that would satisfy the nutritional needs of their mistress. Her health was important. Without it, they may cease to exist at any time.

  With their items carefully stored in the recycled bags that were offered, they trundled to the door and with a sharp flip from Bitsy on the lock, left the grocery store. Moving through the doors took Harby and Ruffles a lot of effort, but they managed. With the bags in front of them, they headed to the edge of the common green.

  * * * *

  "So what do you think, green around the edges and pink in the center?” Mitsy was diligently selecting appropriate pots and setting them aside. Creating a color scheme in the yard may help the Nexus gain control and keep her calm. With all the power that was going to be flying around when she grasped her talent, she definitely needed a place for meditation.

  "I think some blue and purple would also be a good mix. The Nexus does not seem to like yellow so we may want to leave that one out.” Splint offered that opinion with a slight sniff. He was being incredibly prissy for a garden gnome, especially one on crutches. “Where did Skint go?"

  Mitsy sighed and kept selecting soothing choices for the garden. “He is trying to arrange transport for the garden materials."

  "What kind?"

  "I have no idea. He is looking for something in the kids cars section. I don't know what exactly that is, but he seems to.” She shrugged and selected a few more bedding plants. Each was chosen with deliberate care, nothing was too good for the Nexus. It was quite a few minutes until she heard a high-pitched whine that preceded Skint by ten seconds. When he rounded the corner, Mitsy yelped in shock. It was a small vehicle with enormous tires, just their size, and it was bright pink.

  "Isn't this fantastic? It's called a Barbie Car, and there are three more like it in the kids section.” His pride in his discovery was obvious as he tooled around the concrete, making lazy figure eights in his new vehicle.

  Mitsy edged around it daintily. “How does it work?"

  "It runs on batteries that we can recharge at the Nexus's home."

  "How do you know all this?"

  Skint puffed up with importance and crossed his arms over his chest. “I am a boy."

  She opened and closed her mouth repeatedly. Nothing that she could come up with could challenge that statement. “Fine. Where do I get one?"

  Skint cackled evilly. “Hop on."

  She delicately took the seat beside him and kept her gloves up in case he tried anything. His naked thigh touched hers twice, but that was as far as she let him get. A light tap on his arm with her glove had them swinging toward some shelving so she refrained from punching him hard until they reached their destination. She made a mental note, don't hit the driver.

  "Wow. You were right. There are more of them.” She perused the selection and smirked with glee. “I want that one."

  "Hey! I didn't see that one. I want it."

  "Tough. Stick with pink. It looks good on you.” She strode definitively to the vehicle that announced itself as a Batmobile and tried it out. It took a bit of trial and error, but she worked it out. “Go get Splint so that he can drive another car and meet me back at the plants. I am going to get familiar with this vehicle."

  Mitsy tooled the car around the home and garden center. She determined the cornering radius
, the top speed, and with a bit of chain, some bolts and an under car creeper, she determined load capacity. They had enough power to start transporting things home.

  It was time to roll.

  It took some managing, but Mitsy got their small caravan arranged with four vehicles, each couple towing a line of creepers and wagons to bring their supplies home. The groceries had been collected and added to the Batmobile and Jeep combination with the Barbie car and another Jeep bringing up the rear. High-powered flashlights were mounted on the front of each vehicle and made the perilous journey down the side of the road a little bit lighter.

  They kept their conversations to a minimum. The new skill of driving required concentration and the thought of being seen was in all of their minds as they made their way home. The small vehicles were not built for off-roading, but they did a respectable job.

  They were almost to the turn of Oak Point Way when an oncoming car caught them in its headlights. The car slowed to a crawl, its occupant staring at the little parade that they had formed. When the driver accidentally steered into the brush, they made their move. Hitting the accelerator and swearing, the gnomes directed their conveyances into the safety of the shield around the street to the cul-de-sac.

  The driver of the car, a woman who was looking rather perturbed at her loss of vehicular control, was left looking at the three potting plants that were left behind in the sudden swerve. From behind the bubble, Mitsy looked back and sighed. She loved those plants. Perhaps they could get some more the next day.

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  Chapter Eight

  Something was different. This morning when Abby woke up, the house was not silent. There was clattering and clanging going on and she bolted out of bed and into the kitchen. And almost fainted. It was real, it was all real, or her mind had snapped big time.

  Stationed at the coffeemaker, the skillet and the toaster were gnomes. The little beasties were making her breakfast. After the shock of seeing every chair she owned made into an access walkway for them, she had to admit that they were neat cooks.

  As she sat at the counter on one of the stools that her brood had not pressed into service, she felt the first stirrings of embarrassment run through her. She was mortified that she had run from the gathering, but she hadn't known what the hell had been going on and was just tired enough to go into full panic mode. Bitsy patted her hand in commiseration as her walked by, setting the table. It almost made her smile.

  "So fellas? Did anything else come to life last night?"

  He had to have been waiting in her living room because Xander's voice made her jump three inches to fall heavily back onto the stool. “There were reported incidents of missing lawn ornaments and footprints in the dirt for a three mile circumference around Laura's place.” He crossed his arms and scowled at her. “What the hell did you do last night? You generated enough power to set ceramics marching all over town."

  "I don't know what I did. I wish I did know. Is Laura still stuck with her tail?"

  "Yes. And we are going over there after breakfast so that you can try and reverse the power shock that you gave her.” Xander moved to sit next her and she scooted over a bit.

  Oddly enough, in his role as her teacher, she didn't find him sexy at all. His chastising tone had her sulking and feeling like a dog that peed on the carpet. “Okay. I know that I did something last night to build up the charge, mind you, I don't know what it is. How do I bleed off the magic without contact?"

  "You don't. But you find an item to discharge the power into. In the past, Nexus's have used rocks, knives, gems, belts, armour, small items that can be worn on the person. This lets you bleed it off as it generates, instead of reaching critical and popping."

  She mulled it over as a cup of coffee was delivered to her the way she liked it. “But what would I do with all the bits and bobs that I charge up?"

  Xander rubbed the back of his neck and pondered his next statement. “In the past, the Nexus has been taken into custody by the leading council of the time. Whether it was dragons, witches or warlocks heading the council."

  "Taken into custody?” Scrambled eggs and toast with three strips of crispy bacon and strawberry jam were now in front of her. Bitsy was the final position of the assembly line and he just walked it over to her. She knew where Xander's discussion was going.

  "A polite term for kidnapping, but it did generate a lot of new magic, wild magic, for the world."

  "And that is the main concern, isn't it? That I will produce the magic that everyone is so desperate for.” She dug into her food out of reflex, but stopped halfway to thank her gnomes. “Hi guys! Thanks for all your hard work this morning. But I only have one question ... where did the jam come from?"

  Harby walked to stand next to her and looked at her seriously, it took three tries, but eventually his mouth opened enough to say, “We found it for you. We will find anything for you."

  "Thank you.” She smiled and went back to her plate through the tears in her eyes. Her creations could speak now and she felt like a proud parent. A second plate of food was dropped in front of Xander and he looked at it in surprise. “Eat it. You don't want to insult them. No telling what they will do."

  "No kidding. They love to be busy. Have you seen your backyard yet?” The amusement in his tone set her nerves on full alert.

  She took a deep and shaky breath. “Can I finish my breakfast before I have anymore shocks?"

  "Of course.” He tucked into his own food, heavy on the pancakes and bacon. Apparently the gnomes paid attention to preferences. A lot of attention.

  The instant that they finished, the plates were whisked away and conveyed to Skint who had stayed away from the frying, but had no problem cleaning up.

  She sighed with satisfaction, she could deal with anything on an full stomach. “Okay, let's try and freak me out in the backyard, shall we?"

  Xander grinned at her and her earlier disinterest went right out the window. God, he was handsome. And he probably saw her as no more attractive than a battery. How depressing.

  Together they moved through the halls that had been buffed to a high shine, and when she stepped out onto the deck through the sliding door, she gasped and it was long moments before she remembered to breathe.

  Her original yard of two days earlier had been fenced in on two sides with the back of the yard open to the river. Her only large item in the yard was the mighty oak that had lived there for a few hundred years at least. She wasn't going to mess with that.

  Now, there were tiny gardens in all kinds of shapes and sizes running through her yard. The odd part was that flowers were implanted in the ground and seemed to be enjoying their new home. A tidy stack of green potting cases gave her the final clue to her new beautiful yard. “They have been raiding home and garden centers, haven't they?” She covered her eyes with her hand and tried to think of all the ramifications.

  "I don't know, but they have been busy. You may want to keep an eye on local news.” He wandered into the floral expanse and asked her, “So what else would you want?"

  "I think I would need a meditation space and organize the colors into soothing pallets. And some decorative stones to charge up and use for balance.” She walked around the tiny paths that left just enough room for her feet. “The plants got blasted last night as well. They are humming with energy already and I haven't even touched them."

  "You have now created a yard full of magical flowers. You should be proud. I have never even heard of such a thing.” His hand moved to take hers and she shied away. She backed up until she was touching the oak and, with a relaxed sigh, emptied her charge into the tree. It could take it.

  "There. I no longer have a charge. Let's go visit Laura.” The leaves rustled as she turned to take Xander's arm and she deliberately did not look back at the tree that now had a full burst of magic. Part of Abby was still trying to pretend it wasn't happening.

  The other part was enjoying the feel of Xander's arm under her hand.
The warmth of the muscle under her fingers sent a tingle of recognition through her. If her hunch was correct, she had just found one of her triggers because she had started to power up once again and his muscles were responsible.

  "I'm back here!” Laura's voice called out through the fence and they headed for it. A wave of Xander's hand and a tingle of magic later and a door appeared in the forty foot fence where none had existed before.

  Abby was in a hurry to apologize. She stumbled up the steps leading to the pool and knelt at poolside. Laura's skin was practically pearlescent. She looked lovely, but also unhappy.

  "Look out!"

  Her warning came a second too late as a snarling wolf tackled Abby and rolled her onto the grass. He pinned her down with his jaws at her throat and growled.

  With a choked voice, she tried to calm him. “Hi, Verne. I know that it looks bad, but Xander is going to help me undo what I did to Laura."

  A blue nimbus surrounded the wolf as the Warlock levitated the werewolf off her and into the hot tub.

  "Aw man, it is going to take me forever to get all that fur out of the tub.” Laura flicked the water with her tail and leaned back to relax against the edge of the pool.

  "You could have called to warn me.” Xander was irate now. He helped Abby to her feet and dusted her off.

  "Is Verne stuck, too?” Oddly enough, being attacked by a werewolf was not as shocking as it would have been three days earlier. Perhaps she was going crazy.

  "Well, he hasn't shifted back since he kissed me last night after you left.” She looked a little abashed. “He must have absorbed some of the magic."

  "With all that wild magic flying around, it's likely that that is what happened. But he may want to keep in mind that no creature here wants to kill our new Nexus. She is providing us with the first large magical boost in almost seventy-five years.” Xander hunkered down next to Laura and met her gemlike gaze. “We need to keep her alive and well to keep the magic coming."

  "I'll remind him. Now, give Abby the instruction she needs.” Another impatient swish.