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  She flexed her hands and looked down at the scorch marks on her abdomen. Thanks for the suit, Polarium.

  This is an occupational hazard. Not everyone who falls through the rift is prepared to return home. It is to everyone’s benefit that we send them back where they came from.

  Can the suit be fixed? She lazily turned away from the closed patch in space and propelled herself back to the station. It was almost easy to match her velocity and trajectory now that she had a few weeks of practice.

  There are six new suits waiting for you.

  She passed through the energy seal on deck fifty. “Wonderful. I am glad to see that you are thinking ahead.”

  “Was that addressed to me, Ember?” Monitor murmured in an amused tone.

  “No, I was muttering to Polarium. How are you today?”

  “I need you down at the com station.” Monitor was serious.

  Ember shrugged and headed for the lift. “On my way.”

  Exploring the station took up her spare time, but there was nothing like wandering into the command area to see the displays and projections of the local rifts and distant stars. Somewhere, out there, was Earth.

  “Okay, I am here, Monitor. What did you need to show me?”

  “Take the chair. I have gotten a response from the recruitment branch of the Alliance.”

  She was lowering herself when she heard that, and she landed with a thud. “You did?”

  “We did. The information is interesting, and I had to use genetic matches to find your daughter, but between the archive and the genes, I believe we have located your offspring.”

  “Show me, please.”

  A woman’s face was suddenly on the screen, and Ember gasped. She covered her mouth with her hand, and she looked at the young lady who had a wry smile and an intelligent twinkle in her eyes. Ember never dreamed that her daughter would share so many of her features.

  “What is her name?”

  “Ember, I would like to introduce you to Citadel Specialist, Margo Amber Leclerk. She is stationed at Citadel Balen and is working toward taking an administrative position of her own.”

  She listened to Monitor’s voice, but she was locked into staring at her daughter’s face.

  She whispered, “When did she enroll in the program?”

  His voice was soft. “She enrolled when she was fourteen and left when she was eighteen years and one day.”

  Ember blinked. “Was she unhappy?”

  “I am sure that I don’t know, but there are sealed correspondences with you. I have the files, but it will take your authorization to open them.”

  She blinked rapidly. “There are messages for me?”

  “Eighty-four to be precise.”

  She giggled and sobbed through her fingers. “Eighty-four?”

  “She has recorded one message for you per Terran month or every thirty days. The Alliance has kept them in an archive until the day you ask for them.”

  Ember lowered her hand and gripped the arms of the command chair. “Where does she think I have been?”

  “There is a note in your file about the stasis pod. It kept sending a ping when it paused for maintenance. The Alliance knew you were alive. Eventually, each ping reached a relay station that could pass it on.”

  “Even through the ships that were carrying me?”

  Monitor let out what passed for a chuckle. “It is a very sophisticated pod.”

  She wrinkled her nose and then paused. “Can I send my daughter a message?”

  “Of course, but you might want to listen to her messages first.”

  “Can I? Do I have to do it here?”

  Monitor said, “Unfortunately this is the best place to view them. Once you have watched a letter, you can view it at your leisure in your quarters, but for the first viewing, seeing her holographic projection at full size is your best option.”

  Polarium, do I have time to watch a few of them now?

  The voice in her head sounded calm and concerned. I insist that you do. I look forward to seeing your offspring.

  “Right. Monitor, I have authorization from Polarium, so can you show me the first letter?”

  “I am delighted. File one...”

  “Hiya, Mom. Damn, that feels weird. Right. Mom. Well, since you are out here in space somewhere, I thought I would try and get in touch. My name is Margo Amber Leclerk, but I am guessing you know that. I used to be mad at you, but then I looked into you, and the more I looked, the more I understood that you did what you could until you had nothing left to fight with. Your letter just confirmed it.”

  Ember felt the tear trickle down her cheek. Her daughter was a glorious eighteen. Her hair was a few shades lighter than Ember’s, but otherwise, the resemblance was unmistakable.

  “I have enrolled in the Volunteer program and have actually met the Earth’s Avatar. Can you imagine it? There is really a woman who contains the thoughts and will of the planet under our feet.”

  Margo shifted from side to side and then she smiled. “I guess I hope that I can see you one day, even though the Alliance officers say that you have been missing but are known to be alive. I hope you are somewhere safe right now and that you are comfortable. Talk to you soon.”

  The projection went blank, and Ember wiped her tears away. When she was under her own control again, she looked up and smiled. “Can I see more?”

  Monitor responded by dimming the lights and projecting an image of Margo in a body suit. She waved. “Hi, Mom.”

  Ember sat back and watched her daughter tell her about her first month of basic training. Ember laughed at some of the events described and wanted to punch some other new Volunteers for being rude to her little girl.

  Watching the letters of the first two years made her laugh, cry and gave her an incredible urge to skip to the end. Monitor refused to do it, though. He was very linear when it came to delivering the mail.

  She wished that she had popcorn, and she could feel Polarium watching from behind her eyes. He felt affection for the creatures living in his star system, but it was nothing like this. This was a moment in her life that she would cherish always. Her daughter had called her Mom for the first time ever.

  Chapter Seven

  The letters became a treat for her when she wasn’t working to keep the space around Polarium clear. When Ember watched the last one, she stood in front of her daughter’s image.

  The robes of a Citadel Specialist swung slightly as she stood in the center of the projection.

  “Hi, Mom. My friends here on Balen think I am nuts for talking to you, but that is just one of my many loveable characteristics.” Margo grinned.

  “I have gotten a message that you have come out of the stasis pod. Damn. That is one beauty sleep that I don’t envy. I hope you came out of it okay. It was a long time to be under.”

  Ember muttered, “You’re telling me.”

  “I know I mentioned earlier that I have a boyfriend, but I didn’t get into specifics. He’s Azon, a specialist in aerial combat and yes, that means he can fly.” Margo grinned. “He isn’t superman, but he is a dark purple-blue. He is fully behind my letters to you, even if they are just messages.”

  Ember grinned and then scowled. “Monitor, when this is over, I want specs on her Azon.”

  “That is classified information, Ember.”

  “I do not care.” She crossed her arms and paid attention to Margo’s letter again.

  “I can’t believe that blending in could be a talent, but since I have been on a few missions after my training, I now know that being part of the background can save lives.” Margo hugged herself. “I never imagined that I could make any kind of difference, but here I am, disappearing for a living and loving it.”

  Ember smiled. “I always liked it myself.”

  “Well, I leave tomorrow on a mission, so I will talk to you in a month. Hugs, Mom. Thanks for listening.” Margo waved, and the platform went dark.

  Ember sighed. It had been three weeks since the firs
t file had been shown to her, and now she was all caught up.

  Polarium, are we able to send a message to her?

  Of course, Ember. I would not have allowed you to get the information if I wasn’t going to allow communication.

  Ember got out of the chair and stalked out and into her quarters. She left the door open while she went through her wardrobe. She wanted to make a good impression.

  Cross called out from the doorway. “What are you looking for?”

  Ember glanced back at him and winced at the scorch marks and damage to his suit. “I am looking for something that says I am mature and responsible. What happened to you?”

  “Dual asteroid collision. I got pinned in between until they slowed to a halt.”

  She blinked at him. “Why didn’t Polarium send me out?”

  “The same reason he didn’t send me when you were dealing with the Jurcorans. You could handle it.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “They were particularly unpleasant and grabby.”

  “And yet, you were left on your own. I would gladly have torn the ship apart, but they were not dangerous, only insecure. You handled them, and they made it home.” Cross wandered inside her quarters. He reached past her into the wardrobe and pulled out a vivid blue robe. “If you don’t want to wear your very stunning suit and robe, I would put this on over the suit. The suit is how you live now, so it is the best representative of your station.”

  He was close to her. Extremely close.

  Ember pushed all thoughts of her ex aside and leaned up to kiss him.

  Cross didn’t push her away, but he didn’t pull her close. When she ended the kiss, he smiled down at her, with Polarium glowing in his eyes.

  “So, that was not wanted?” She didn’t look away. With only the two of them on the station, they didn’t have a lot of space for shunning.

  He handed her her robe and pulled her to him by the shoulders. “I didn’t want to drop your clothing.”

  The kiss he gave her curled her toes and made her wish that he wasn’t wearing his battered suit. When he leaned back, he asked, “Was that unwanted?”

  She licked her lips, and his eyes continued shining bright with the mind of the star riding behind them. “It was definitely wanted and very appreciated.”

  “It is the beginning of a courtship for your people, yes?”

  She nodded. “We have already done the shared meals and discussions of our past, so it is the next phase. Yes.”

  He smiled. “Good. What comes after this?”

  “Bodily contact and eventually sex.”

  “Sex?”

  “Intercourse.” She punched him in the arm when she saw he was snickering. “Don’t make me break out the euphemisms. What do your folk call it?”

  He gave her a serious look. “Summoning the soul.”

  She blinked. “I have never had that particular experience.”

  He stroked her cheek. “I will be delighted to demonstrate when the time is right.”

  She didn’t want to shiver at his comment, but she did.

  Ember cleared her throat. “I think you are right and I should just put on a new suit and robe. It is what I am now.”

  “And so much more. She will be proud to call you her mother.”

  Ember felt a lightening of her spirit. “She already does.”

  She made sure her hair was straight and over one shoulder. Her robes were smooth and hanging evenly, and she was wearing a new bodysuit.

  Monitor was waiting for her authorization.

  She took a deep breath. “Okay, right. I am good. Proceed, Monitor.”

  “Recording.”

  There was a dot set up for her to look at, so she smiled. “Hello, Margo. My name is Ember Velar, and I am your mother.”

  The exhalation was heartfelt. “I have been waiting years to do that.”

  “I have been waiting for years for this moment, but frankly, I thought I would look older when you were this age. Life never turns out the way we plan.”

  She sighed and then smiled. “I am a stellar Avatar. My star is Polarium, and if you are interested, he has the ability to help me do a long-range projection to talk to you, even if it is unlikely we will ever meet.”

  “I was young when I had you, and too young to fight to keep you. While I wish things were different, I hope that your upbringing was good, safe and comfortable. You seem very put together with none of the issues I was worried about being inherited.”

  “My ticket to the stars was my ability to blend in, but here it has been used to allow my genetics to be warped in order to let Polarium settle in. I think I am too radioactive for us to ever have contact, but know that I love you, I loved you when I carried you, and I love you now. Talk to you soon. If you want to know anything, just ask.”

  The light flickered, and she let the tears come.

  Monitor remained uncharacteristically quiet. When she finished sobbing, she stood up and wiped her cheeks. “Any new tears, Monitor?”

  “There are six today. Small ones.”

  “I should get to it then.”

  “It might help distract you, Ember.”

  She nodded. “Off I go.”

  “Wait, you need the coordinates.”

  Blushing, she stopped in her tracks. “Right.”

  She settled in the com chair and got the locations. They were farther away than she had ventured so far, but she really needed something to do.

  Polarium was willing to help, and he kept quiet as she ran up to level fifty and walked out through the energy shield.

  She flew through space at a speed that wasn’t even possible back on Earth with a spaceship, but the area was full of the waves of radiation that Polarium put out and she was able to surf them to her destination.

  The technique you use for using strands of energy is a definite time and power saver.

  She chuckled softly. When I was pregnant, I made dolls for my daughter. I couldn’t do much, but I could sew, so I did. All the dolls but one were donated to charity when they took her away.

  What happened to the last doll?

  She finished webbing one of the tears, and she yanked on the stitching. I sent it with my baby. I don’t know if they kept it.

  How many dolls did you sew?

  Seventy-five, from basic to elaborate.

  Is that good?

  She laughed silently and sealed the tear. It was good for me. I taught myself a skill and used it for the one I loved.

  I understand. These rifts and the dead didn’t bother me until someone came to tell me that it was having larger ramifications. My little portion of space was tearing apart planets simply because I didn’t care to learn how to fix it. So, now I have Avatars to help me fix it, but no one in those worlds will ever know how much effort it took to make them safe again.

  A lot of effort and you will never know if anyone noticed.

  Exactly.

  Ember smiled and propelled herself to the next rift. It was weird to think that she had anything in common with a giant ball of gas and energy. She supposed weirder things had happened, but she couldn’t think of an example.

  Chapter Eight

  “Monitor, are there any new letters?” Ember was wearing one of the gowns and robes as she worked on growing some plants in the green space.

  “No, Ember. It has only been a week. It takes a while to send the signals through the relays.”

  “Is there any way to know if she got my recording?”

  “There is no interference on our com pathways. She would have the file relayed to her.”

  Ember dug a hole and planted one of the special seeds that Polarium had Cross bring to her. “I hate waiting.”

  “Polarium can teach you about waiting. He is a master of simply being himself until there was someone else.”

  Ember covered the seed and watered it. “That is a lie. He ordered me like I came from a catalogue and then had to wait until I got here.”

  “Yes, and he didn’t want to wait, but the shi
ps could only fly so fast.”

  She chuckled. “Well, I am glad I made it. Not sure I am a fan of the ship being shredded.”

  “They were refusing to part with you, and the ship glided in too close to an open rift. Their ship was torn to pieces and Cross had to cut your pod free. He was busy, so he left you there until he could come and reclaim you.”

  “Or until the pod died.”

  “The pod was set to absorb ambient radiation, you had the energy you needed.”

  “Until I didn’t.” She snorted.

  Cross’s voice came at her from around the corner. “Polarium set a timer on your pod. If I went too long without collecting you, the pod would send out a signal that we wouldn’t be able to ignore.”

  She glanced over, and he leaned around the corner. “Flattering.”

  “It was what happened then, this is now. Now, what are you doing?”

  She looked around the green space at all the small mounds of dirt. “I am planting a tree for each year of Margo’s life. It will be a reminder for me, and eventually, this entire area will be filled with trees.”

  Cross looked at the seeds and appeared surprised. “Where did you get those?”

  “Monitor had supply send them up. Why?”

  He crouched and prodded the seeds with a fingertip. “They are from my home world. Every young man gets a bag of seeds, and as he travels, he plants one seed for every child he begins.”

  She blinked. “Wow.”

  “We do not have a high survival rate, so the plants and their fruit help keep our biological balance. They reset us.”

  “Do you have a lot of children?”

  He shook his head. “We are also not prolific breeders. That is why we travel, we try and seed our kind in the stars in an effort to find a species that has a higher success rate. Our own couples cannot bring a child into the world together.”

  “That is horrible.”

  He looked up from the seeds. “That is why we travel the stars. Once a woman gets pregnant, or a man manages to find a partner, the child that they raise is spoiled and taken care of by the entire community.”